Grief and the healing
by Sjur
Summary: Claire is struggling with the past. Memories of Steve and his cruel demise have lodged themselves deep into her brain, causing every day to become an emotional hell for her. Will she be able to overcome her inner turmoil and return to a normal life?RRplz
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story. I'm just borrowing them from good, ol' Capcom. ;)

Claire stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was in utter disarray, her long bangs were matted with sweat. She was pale, her eyes bloodshot, her lips quivering. The last 6 months had been hell. She had been in and out of psychiatric departments, but none of the doctors nor the prescriptions for various drugs had helped her the least bit. Ever since that fateful incident, she had experienced the same reoccuring nightmares. Dreams of Alexander Ashford, of the ruthless Tyrant. Of Steve, and the gruesome abomination Alexia Ashford had turned him into. In her dreams, she could still smell the strong stench of rotting flesh, she could feel the slimy touch of the bandersnatchers. But what really took its toll on her well-being, was the last three words Steve had uttered before passing on. Claire gazed into the mirror, tears forming in her eyes. All the memories now flooding her mind, she particularly remembered what she had repeatedly told him throughout their ordeal. That they would survive this. That they would get through this together. That they would escape. "I...I promised you", she shrieked before sinking down onto the floor.

"Claire?" Chris had awoken to the sounds of his sister yelling. He already knew what would meet him when he entered the bathroom. He opened the door slowly, its hinges creaking. And there lay his sister, sprawled out on the bathroom floor. "Claire?" he cried, taking his sister in his arms and lifting her body from the floor. "Claire, are you okay?" he asked desperately. "Claire...Claire!?"

She coughed, her eyes opening slowly. "Y...yes. I'm okay," she grumbled weakly. Chris exhaled in relief. "Claire, you can't live like this. You have to put this behind you." She nodded in response. "Yes. Yes, I know..." She tried to sound strong, the way she would always sound when faced with opposition in the past. But like every single time for the past six months, she crumbled, and Chris saw it. Tears were starting to form in her eyes again. She hugged Chris tightly, and wept vigorously into his chest. "I know...but it's so hard..." she cried. Chris patted her back lightly, and whispered soothingly under his breath. "Yes. Yes, Claire. I know."

Getting up from bed that morning was tough. Claire had gotten little to no sleep, and to top it off, she had to work extra long shifts today. Just thinking about it made her groan.

But Chris was being awfully nice about it all, just like he always was. He had gotten up early and made breakfast, he had made her lunch and poured freshly made coffee into her thermos. Sometimes, she couldn't for her bare life figure out how he endured her. All the late nights, her nervous breakdowns and constant need for comfort. It was beyond her comprehension. She was barely able to withstand her dysfunctional being herself.

"Chris?" she asked faintly. He stopped flipping the eggs and turned around to look at her. "Yes?" Claire didn't return his gaze. She was too ashamed to. Instead, she just stared down into the table. "How can you stand being around me?" Chris frowned, a bit taken aback by her inquisition. "What do you mean Claire?" he asked surprised. She slammed her clenched hands into the table. "How are you able to...to..." she stuttered. Claire could feel a heavy lump form in her throat. "How are you able to be so nice about everything when...when...when I'm like this?" She threw her arms up into the air in exasperation, and then buried her face in the palm of her hands. Her outburst earned a sympathetic look from Chris. "You're my sister! I'd do anything for you. You know that." He squatted down next to her, and cupped her cheek with his left hand. "Look, if you don't feel like going to work today, I can call you in sick." She turned around to look at him, her eyes teary. "I'd really appreciate that." She hugged him and started to clean up after herself. "Oh, don't worry about that," Chris chimed. "I'll take care of that. You just go get some sleep."

She looked at him, her eyes divulging the gratitude she felt towards him. "Thank you, Chris. I don't know what I'd do without you." Chris smiled at her comment. "Well, you would've had a lot less traumatic events to contend with during your adolescence for one." She chuckled lightly at his bad attempt at a joke. Chris and his hotheadedness would always get her into the worst of situations, and she would more often than not suffer the consequences. Reminiscing about her and Chris' past as children managed to bring a little warmth back to her face. "All right, big bro. I'm off to sleep again. Thanks for everything." Chris smiled and waved her off. "Oh, don't mention it. You're my sister after all."

Author's note: Yes! I'm finally at it again. Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been extremely busy with school lately, but now it's all good. Vacation is imminent and whatnot(is that even an expression?), so expect a lot more frequent updates. :) And sorry for the short prelude, but I just had to get this story up and going. The ghost of came sauntering into my bedroom last night, pulling at my covers and yelling for me to get my ass into gear and post this story. So here you go. Hope you liked it so far. :)


	2. He's back

Claire awoke to the excruciating sound of the doorbell. God, how she hated that noise. It reminded her of the bell at school, the one that signalized the end of the breaks in between classes. And to top it off, her head was throbbing like mad. Tossing her body around to glance at the clock, she noticed it was 4pm. "Shit", she uttered through clenched teeth. She wasn't supposed to be asleep for this long. No wonder her head felt like it was about to split open. Claire would always get these insane headaches if she slept too much. She got up and sat down on the edge of the bed, massaging her temples with her thumbs and praying that the visitor would soon seize his intentions of smashing the doorbell. But it was to no avail. The person seemed very intent on getting inside the house. "Must be a fucking salesman," Claire grumbled under her breath. Seeing as Chris wasn't around to do it, she decided it would be in her best interest to get up and smash the face of whoever was standing outside the frontdoor. Grabbing her wardrobe which was slung over the edge of the bed, she groggily made her way downstairs. She thought killing the perpetrator would at least take her mind off of Steve, if nothing else. Claire had no idea what kind of a surprise she was in for as she stumbled down the steps.

"Okay...What the fuck is your pr..." Claire exclaimed loudly as she flung the frontdoor open. But as she caught a good glimpse of the person standing before her, she stopped dead in her tracks in utter shock. For there, in front of her, stood her old comrade. The man she had survived the ordeal in Raccoon City with. The person she had trusted almost more than her own brother. A guy she thought had left to train for the government, whom she'd never thought she'd see again in a million years.

"Ehm...Good day to you too, sunshine. Or should I say good morning?" Leon chuckled. "And by the way, who shoved a tree-trunk up your ass?" Claire was so surprised, she didn't even register what he had just said. She just stood there, looking rather dumbstruck. The person in front of her stood at 5 foot 11, a good four inches taller than her. His hair was still a fiery red, parted in the middle with two long bangs hanging down in front of his face. His azure eyes still wore that sympathetic expression she had always found so endearing. He was still the same good, old Leon whom she had grown so fond of over the past few months. Leon decided to try his luck again. "Heeello, earth to Claire.." he sing-sang and waved his hand in front of her face for further effect.

The gesture seemed to work, as Claire started blinking rapidly. "Wha...what was that?" she gulped, trying to collect herself. Leon put his arms under his chest, and put on a disappointed face. "Is that any way to greet an old friend", he pouted. Claire didnt't really pay any notice to his words. She was still a bit shocked at the circumstances. For one, she couldn't believe he was back. And he could not possibly have come at a worse time. It wasn't that she hadn't missed Leon. Hell, she had missed him more than she thought was possible. But honestly, she didn't feel like hanging out with anyone at the time, and she was certain she wouldn't prove to be much of a company given her present state of mentality. She'd always suspected it in the past, but now she had confirmation. His timing really did suck. Gazing back at Leon, she suddenly registered what he had just said. "No...n...no, Leon", she stuttered, and put on a smile. "Come here, you silly goof." Claire embraced him in a tight hug, and as she did, she realized just how long they had been apart. God, it felt good to be so close to him again after all this time. The pair of them stood like that for a good while, before Claire noticed the goosebumps on her skin. Seeing as Leon was shaking a bit too, she decided it would probably be a good idea for them to go inside. She walked up the frontsteps and motioned for him to follow. "Come in, Leon. I'll make us some coffee. You still take it black, right." Leon smirked. "Correctemundo," he replied with a huge grin on his face.

Claire turned her face towards the kitchen, and smiled a little to herself. A feeling of appreciation started to creep upon her. Maybe this wouldn't turn out so bad after all. The reunion between the two had actually made Claire so happy she had completely forgotten about her headache.

"So, what've you been doing lately?" Leon asked as he sipped at his coffee. Claire cringed a little at his question. What had she been doing lately? Lying awake, afraid that the nightmares would become real? Waking up bathed in her own sweat only few minutes after she'd fallen asleep? Spending her day huddled in the corner of her room? Nothing of which would interest Leon. Not in a positive aspect anyway. Besides, she really didn't want to drag him into this. He had just shown up again after what seemed like years. Claire certainly didn't feel like inviting him to her personal roller coaster of hell. Chris had already become involved, and though he didn't show it, she knew it had to take its toll on him.

"Helloooo?" Leon snapped his fingers in front of Claire's face, finally managing to catch her attention again. "Hmm? Wh...what?" she stuttered. Leon shifted his weight and leaned forwards with his face cupped in his hands, his elbows planted firmly on the kitchen table. "You know, that's the second time you've spaced out today. This isn't like you at all. What's going on?"

Claire felt nervous at his inquisition, and started twitching her thumbs. "Nothing, Leon. Nothing is wrong," she stuttered and noticed how clumsy her words sounded.

Leon took another sip of his coffee. "Come on, Claire. I can see there's something bothering you. Won't you please just tell me?" he prompted sympathetically.

She felt her heart sink. She really wanted to tell him. She just wanted to leap into his arms and cry her heart out. And the more she entertained the thought, the more attractive it became. But she knew she couldn't let herself do that. Her scruples wouldn't allow her to. Claire realized she had to ask his leave of him, before the comfort of his arms became too tempting to her. She abruptly rose from her chair. "Leon, I don't really feel that well right now. Will you please go?"

Leon looked up at her, a shocked expression crossing his features. "But...Claire...wh..."

Claire looked at him with pleading eyes. "Leon, just go please. I'm feeling kinda nauseous right now."

Leon looked at her for a little while. Then he finally nodded, and started for the front door. As he was about to leave, he turned around with a sympathetic glance. "You'll tell me if there's something wrong, right?"

At that, she had to laugh a little. He really hadn't changed at all. Despite now working for the government, he was still the same, young rookie cop that wanted to protect everyone.

"Yes", she nodded with a smile. "I will..."

As she closed the door behind her, she started to ponder her options. Was it really necessary to shut him out like that? He had been very sincere, and he was in fact just about the sweetest guy she knew. Would it really be so bad if she told him about her griefs?

Despite sleeping for so long, Claire noticed a heavy weariness settling upon her. She went to rummage through the cabinet for some pills to kill the headache that had crawled its way back into her skull. Swallowing them with a glass of water, Claire went to lie down on the couch. As her eyelids slid shut, darkness enveloped everything and Steve began chasing her again.

* * *

Author's note: Well, once again, it's taken me a little while to update. Sorry about that, guys. Christmas is a hassle, with all the family gatherings and what not...Anyways, thanks for the reviews. I appreciate it very much. :) Please feel free to point out grammatical errors if you see any. And by all means, tell me if you think I should have done something different/could have done something better. Constructive critisism is always welcome. Once again, thanks. Oh, and I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. :) 


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